Adventures in Blondieland
Do you know those quotes that speak of some universal truth and seem to fit just any type of life situation? Things like you should always remain true to yourself, or, on the contrary, that you should always embrace change, or know yourself before you begin to understand others, or whatever…
If I were to start this post with something like that (which I won’t, not technically at least), I could follow it with a thorough and deep text about some serious issue. I will not, though. As shallow as that might be, the world is so serious right now, and my mind just need a break. So, hair it is, we’re talking about hair. And to make it more complex – after all, I cannot be THAT superficial😊 – blonde hair, specifically.
To begin with – and this is where I attempt to make some kind of connection to my opening lines about universal truths – I never thought that I would be a blonde. Or even want to be one, for that matter. I mean, brunette power all the way. OK, dark brown, to be exact. Anyway, the main thing is blond hair was as remote an option for me as eating chicken still is. I know this is a very weird thing to say, but it’s true; birds in any shape, form or recipe are a big no no.
Presuming this would be the moment when you get really intrigued and ask how it happened after all, the simple answer is: highlights. I started with some highlights and, although those were a million years away of making me a blonde, there was a certain someone that kept saying that “we are three blondes”😊 Now, I do not mean to blame this someone for me getting blonder and blonder, but truth is it happened and, when I did try to get back to darker locks, it only lasted 3 weeks until I got back to blonde. It turned out that I couldn’t recognize myself as a brunette… I guess I have a blonde soul.
Now, that’s all fun and games, only that it actually isn’t. Because, let me tell you the big news, once you become a blonde, things will never be the same. They will get more difficult, more expensive and will require more of your time.
Let’s break this down, shall we?
You will need professional help. Unless you are one of those very few – and, frankly, annoying – persons who can dye their hair blonde at home, you will need to go to a salon and find yourself a good stylist who knows what’s best for your hair. To get to a nice shade of blonde, you’ll probably need bleaching and, when doing this at home, there are very high chances you’ll get your hair fried. Or patchy. Or both, of course. Then, if you’re like me, the result might be an exquisite shade of carrot orange that needs the miraculous hand of the stylist to blend the hair dye that will offset the orange and tone your hair to the desired shade of blonde. If you’re a bit of a geek, you’ll be delighted to find out that a nice shade of cool blonde often comes out of a mix that may include violet, blue or green. So, either you learn all the bits and pieces behind this, or you go to a salon.
Plain washing won’t do the trick anymore. I mean, forget the wash and go thing. It’s gonna be wash, moisturize, that mask, this mask, that oil, you name it. Although a stylist knows how to lighten your hair in order to cause the least damage possible, bleaching will affect your hair anyway and, in some proportion, it will become brittle and dry. So you’ll need to invest in some good products and, in my experience, these do tend to run a bit on the expensive side. One size does not fit all, but the Kerastase range seems to be the right choice for me and, recently, I’m experiencing with Kevin Murphy products.
Don’t go blonde all the way. That perfect platinum blonde, or any other shade for that matter, will look lovely…for about 2 weeks. And the roots, the infamous roots, will make an entrance. Oh, how I used to loathe and hate them. Even if nobody else will see them at the beginning, you’ll notice the first millimeters coming out and your blonde fairy tale will come crumbling down. Because, doh, you’re not a real blonde and hair grows, that’s what hair does. Fear not, there’s a solution for that, and whether is called balayage, foliage or whatever, keeping and blending your natural roots looks way better than that straight line of overgrowth.
Trim, trim, trim. Yeah, you know it by now, your hair breaks easier and your need to control the damage, especially on the ends. So regular trims are no longer a recommendation, they become a must now, along with that hydration arsenal we’ve talked about above. No need to dwell too much on this, it’s what it is, no lengthy explanations behind it.
Forget heat tools. Or try to, as much as possible. In earnest, you should probably forgo them altogether, but having wavy hair (that is not straight, but not curly, with a mind of it’s own that sometimes decides on tight, tight ringlets, but more often on a non-descript mess) I know the struggle is real. And a flat iron or a curler might be the only thing standing between you and an emergency bun. So I guess it’s difficult to throw them away for good, but do try to limit heat usage and use some good thermal protection.
Think well and long before going back to the dark side. And then think a bit more. Because of the damn roots, I did make this decision and I was pretty sure about it. But then it turns out I didn’t like myself with brown hair, not the tiniest bit, and I then went back to blonde. And what did this mean? Yeah, more bleaching, more brittle hair, the whole package. Which I’m fine with on a regular basis, but this kind of chemical processing is not beneficial not even for the healthiest of hairs. Fortunately, my hair is thick and can take a lot, but even so, after 6 months I can still see the effects. So, do it or don’t do it, but be 100% sure of your decision.
Other than that, it really is all fun and games, isn’t it? Seriously now, I know hair colour, clothes, appearance and such can be perceived as superficial stuff. And, yes, in a crisis, a decisive situation, this matters the least. But in normal circumstances, such things can do wonders to boost your mood, give you that extra bit of confidence and, in some way, set you up for success in whatever you’re trying to accomplish. It doesn’t replace intelligence and using your brain, but it does make for a good pairing.